Forward Ever Forward » Advice

FW: A Short Course in Human Relations

Paul — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 06:00:45 +0000

The 6 most important words: I admit that I was wrong.

The 5 most important words: You did a great job!

The 4 most important words: What do you think?

The 3 most important words: Would you please…

The 2 most important words: Thank you!

The most important word: We.

The least important word: I.

FW: Confucius Says

Paul — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 17:52:22 +0000

Confucius Says:

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Man who run in Front of car get tyred.
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Man who run behind Car get exhausted.
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Man with one Chopstick go hungry.
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Man who scratch butt Should not bite fingernails.
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Man who eat many Prunes get good run for money.
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War not Determine who is right, war determine who is Left.
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Wife who put Husband in doghouse soon find him in Cathouse.
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Man who drive like Hell, bound to get there..
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Man who live in Glass house should change clothes in Basement.
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Man who fish in Other man’s well often catch crabs.
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Crowded elevator Smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Person who deletes this has no humour!!!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Now send it to 1 Or more people..Nothing will happen!!!

FW: Amazing Simple Home Remedies

Paul — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 01:37:11 +0000

THESE REALLY WORK!! I checked this out on Snopes and it’s for real!

AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES – BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES – NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY’RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

SOME ADDITIONAL ADVICE: NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAKE A LAXATIVE AND SLEEPING PILLS ON THE SAME NIGHT

FW: All We Need to Know We Learned From the Easter Bunny!

Paul — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 06:00:52 +0000

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE

Volker Kraft decorates a tree with some 9,200 Easter eggs at the garden of Christa and Volker Kraft, in Saalfeld, eastern Germany. The Kraft family have decorated their tree with Easter eggs for more than 40-years during the Easter time.

All We Need to Know
We Learned From the Easter Bunny!

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
There’s no such thing as too much candy.
All work and no play can make you a basket case.
A cute tail attracts a lot of attention.
Everyone is entitled to a bad “hare” day.
Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
Some body parts should be floppy.
Keep your paws off of other people’s jelly beans.
Good things come in small, sugar coated packages.
The grass is always greener in someone else’s basket.
To show your true colors, you have to come out of the shell.
The best things in life are still sweet and gooey.

May the joy of the season fill your heart.
AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU!
Happy Easter!

FW: Bank Account

Paul — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 06:01:32 +0000

Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, you need to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with his hair fashionably combed and
shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

I love it,’ he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

Mr. Jones, you haven’t seen the room; just wait.’

‘That doesn’t have anything to do with it,’ he replied. Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.

Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.

‘It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the
parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away.. Just for this time in
my life.

Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!

FW: Relationship Advice from Kids

Paul — Fri, 14 May 2010 06:00:58 +0000

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
“You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.”
—Alan, age 10

“No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.”
—Kristen, age 10

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
“Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.”
—Camille, age 10

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
“You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.”
—Derrick, age 8

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
“Both don’t want any more kids.”
—Lori, age 8

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
“Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.”
—Lynnette, age 8

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.”
—Martin, age 10

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
“When they’re rich.”
—Pam, age 7

“The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.”
—Curt, age 7

“The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.”
—Howard, age 8

7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.”
—Anita, age 9

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
“There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?”
—Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is ……

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
“Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck .”
—Ricky, age 10

Doctors Advice

Paul — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 16:05:29 +0000

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FW: A Short Course in Human Relations

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