Sometimes when you are angry with someone,

It helps to sit down,

Take a moment to cool off,

And think about the problem.

My forgetter’s getting better,
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke

For when I’m “here” I’m wondering
If I really should be “there”
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven’t got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,
Say “what am I here for?”
I wrack my brain, but all in vain!
A zero, is my score.

At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say! “Hi” and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, “who was that?”

Yes, my forgetter’s getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it’s driving me plumb crazy
And that isn’t any joke.

CAN YOU RELATE???

The doctor had his tv on in his office when the news of the military base shootings came on. The husband of one of his employees was stationed there. He called her into his office and as he told her what had happened, she got a text message from her husband saying, “I am okay.”

Her cell phone rang right after she read the message.. It was an ER nurse,”I’m the one who just sent you a text, not your husband. I thought it would be comforting but I was mistaken in doing so. I am sorry to tell you this, but your husband has been shot 4 times and he is in surgery.”

The soldier’s wife left Southern Clinic in Dothan and drove all night to Ft.Hood. When she arrived, she found out her husband was out of surgery and would be OK. She rushed to his room and found that he already had visitors there to confort him. He was just waking up and found his wife and the visitors by his side The nurse took this picture.

What is even better is the fact George W. Bush heard about Fort Hood, got in his car without any escort, apparently they did not have time to react, and drove to Fort Hood. He was stopped at the gate and the guard could not believe who he had just stopped. Bush only asked for directions to the hospital then drove on.

The gate guard called that “The president is on Fort Hood and driving to the hospital.” The base went bananas looking for Obama. When they found it was Bush they immediately offered escort and Bush simply told them to shut up and let him visit the wounded and the dependents of the dead. He stayed at Fort Hood for over six hours and was finally asked to leave by a message from the White House. Obama flew in days later and held a “photo ” session in a gym and did not even go to the hospital. All this I picked up from two soldiers here who happened to be at Fort Hood when it happened.

Actions  Speak Louder than Words

Caller : Hi, our printer is not working.

Customer Service: What seems to be the problem with it?

Caller : Mouse is jammed.

Customer Service: Mouse? Printers don’t have a mouse, you fool!

Caller: Mmmmm??…  I guess I should send a picture.

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When is it O.K.to use a swear word??…..

This was forwarded by a friend. Her grandmother had a cousin
living in Niagara Falls that year. She told the family that she and her neighbors woke up in the night feeling something was wrong.

It took a while but they finally realized that it was the lack of noise.  They had all become so used to the roar of the falls that the silence was unusual enough to alert their senses. Of course at that time nearly all the houses were near the falls.  Amazing pictures!  Almost 100 years old.  Can you imagine walking on Niagara falls ?

1911 Photos of Niagara Falls …

AN EASY WAY TO QUICKLY CLEAN YOUR TOILET

This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you

1. Put both lids of the toilet up, and add
1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in
the bowl.

———

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while
you carry him towards the bathroom.

———

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat
in the toilet and close the lid. You may
need to stand on the lid.

———

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
Never mind the noises that come from the
toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

———

5. Flush the toilet three or four times.
This provides a power-wash and rinse.

———

6. Have someone open the front door of your home.
Be sure that there are no people between the
bathroom and the front door.

———

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can,
and quickly lift the lid.

———

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak
through the bathroom, and run outside where he
will dry himself off.

———

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog

Good American ingenuity...
Here’s a solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners.

Have a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but
will detonate any explosive device you may have on you.

The chamber could be reinforced sufficiently to withstand a blast, but just getting the word out should take care of the problem.

And this solution would be cheaper to install in airports around the world.

This would be a win-win for everyone.

~From a pilot