Forward Ever Forward

Man Selling Soul On EBay For £500k
By Alex Watts Updated:13:54, Friday December 14, 2007

An American man is selling his soul on the internet for £500,000 - to raise money for Christmas.

He says the winning eBay bidder will receive his spirit in a glass jar as well as a contract “relinquishing ownership”.

He told buyers: “I’ve got no money for the Christmas holidays, and all I’ve got left to sell is my soul.

“I’m not really using it lately - and selling it on eBay is better than letting the Devil have it.”
http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30200-1296961,00.html

I found this while my kid was looking up toys on the web. It was under the GI Joe site. You know its gonna be good when it is GI Joe! So click on the link and find out what the Kung Fu grip can DISTROY!

http://www.hasbro.com/monkeybartv/default.cfm?page=Entertainment/OnlineGames/GameSelect&game=2005

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal’s office. He was to telephone his
mother and ask her what he should do about it.

He did it and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.

She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his
weenie hanging out.

‘I thought I told you to call your mom!’ she said.

‘I did,’ he said, And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she’d come and pick me up from school’.

sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
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In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”
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On a Septic Tank Truck :
Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels
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At a Proctologist’s door:
“To expedite your visit please back in.”
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On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”
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On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..”
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On a Church’s Billboard:
“7 days without God makes one weak.”
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
“Invite us to your next blowout.”

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At a Towing company:
“We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”
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On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”
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In a Nonsmoking Area:
“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
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On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”
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At an Optometrist’s Office :
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
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On a Taxidermist’s window:
“We really know our stuff.”
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On a Fence:
“Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!”
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At a Car Dealership:
“The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”
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Outside a Muffler Shop:
“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
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In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
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At the Electric Company :
“We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don’t, you will be.”
**************************
In a Restaurant window :
“Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.”
**************************
In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
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At a Propane Filling Station ,
“Thank heaven for little grills.”
**************************
And don’t forget the sign at a
Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”

Creation

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your
Balance and fall over.

6. People say: ‘Great Boris Karloff Mask,’
And you’re not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, ‘Trick or .’

And can’t remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your
hairpiece.

2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating…
*
*
*
1. You keep having to go home to pee.

No matter, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway.

Why We Can’t find Bin Laden
Because he’s busy playing golf in Florida (keep your eye on the photo)

Swearing at work boosts team spirt, morale: research

Oct 17 08:58 AM US/Eastern

Regular swearing at work can help boost team spirit among staff, allowing them to express better their feelings as well as develop social relationships, according to a study by researchers.
Yehuda Baruch, a professor of management at the University of East Anglia, and graduate Stuart Jenkins studied the use of profanity in the workplace and assessed its implications for managers.

They assessed that swearing would become more common as traditional taboos are broken down, but the key appeared to be knowing when such language was appropriate and when to turn to blind eye.

The pair said swearing in front of senior staff or customers should be seriously discouraged or banned, but in other circumstances it helped foster solidarity among employees and express frustration, stress or other feelings.

“Employees use swearing on a continuous basis, but not necessarily in a negative, abusive manner,” said Baruch, who works in the university’s business school in Norwich.

Banning swear words and reprimanding staff might represent strong leadership, but could remove key links between staff and impact on morale and motivation, he said.

“We hope that this study will serve not only to acknowledge the part that swearing plays in our work and our lives, but also to indicate that leaders sometimes need to ‘think differently’ and be open to intriguing ideas.

“Managers need to understand how their staff feel about swearing. The challenge is to master the ‘art’ of knowing when to turn a blind eye to communication that does not meet their own standards.”

The study, “Swearing at work and permissive leadership culture: when anti-social becomes social and incivility is acceptable”, is published in the latest issue of the Leadership and Organisational Development Journal.