Forward Ever Forward

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more shotgun shells. Back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls–don’t know what got into them, but they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of ‘em in the house. Better wait out here on the porch.

“Cooter”