Forward Ever Forward

Sad News

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and share that smile with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads a lift. 

Great Story! If only they still made cars like this!!!

Vending machines in Japan

Japan has the highest number of vending machines per capita, with about one machine for every 23 people. (Pics)

This post showcases unusual and creative Japanese vending machines.

Coca-Cola Robot Vending Machine
Coca-Cola has giant robot vending machines walking around Tokyo.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *****

Eggs Vending Machine
Each small compartment contained a bag of eggs, probably 10 or 12. The eggs are from a nearby farm, and the farmer fills the machine daily with freshly laid eggs.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **

SMART Car Vending Machine
Pushing the button on the vendor won’t exactly pop out a car, but it does dispense a branded tube containing pamphlets on the new models, dealer information, and a sheet of Smart Car stickers.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *****

Ice Vending Machine
In Japan, almost everything is sold in vending machines. This particular machine sells ice.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **

Beer Vending Machine
Vending machine dispensing beer and liquor in Kyoto, Japan.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *

Umbrella Vending Machine
An umbrella vending machine from Tokyo, Japan.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

Pringles Vending Machine
In Japan, there are even vending machines for Pringles chips.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

Instant Noodles Vending Machine
Nissin instant-noodles vending machine located in Tokyo.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *

Flowers Vending Machine
Forget to get flowers on the way home? No worries as this flower machine can be found in Tokyo’s Shinjuku station.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

Necktie Vending Machine
Japanese vending machine that sell neckties.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *

Sneaker Vending Machine
Crafty sneaker vending machine created by Japanese sports fashion brand Onitsuka Tiger.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Vegetables Vending Machine
Unique vending machine from Tokyo that dispenses fresh vegetables.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****

Battery Vending Machine
It is possible to buy batteries from a vending machine in Japan.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *

Live Lobsters Vending Machine
This “Sub Marine Catcher” arcade game allows Japanese gamers to try their hand at catching live lobsters.

Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.”The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168″. The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”. Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”, and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close and says, “So, are you still happy you voted for Obama?”

How Dinosaurs became extinct – The very first “senior moment”

When is it O.K.to use a swear word??

A young couple were driving down the road one day, happily, deliriously in love and due to be married the next day. Suddenly, a large truck swerved from the oncoming lanes into their car! BOOM! And they both died.

At the Pearly Gates, the young couple confronted St. Peter. “Sir, you have to help us! We were to be married tomorrow. Is there any way we can be married in Heaven?”

“Hmmm,” replied St. Peter, “I don’t recall there ever being a marriage in Heaven. Well, let’s take it up with God and see what he says.”

So they approached God with their plea. God sat for a moment, pondering the request. Then he looked down and said, “Come back in five years and ask me again.”

Five years later, the couple approached God again, even more in love than ever and pleading that he allow their marriage. God paused for quite a while, musing over their request. Then he spoke, “Come back in five years and ask me again.”

And once again, five years later, the couple was again in the presence of God, more in love than ever and begging God’s permission for the third time to marry. This time God smiled broadly and thundered, “Yes my children, you may marry!”

Well, the wedding went off beautifully, the reception was huge, everyone thought the bride was simply breathtaking and the groom was soooo handsome, and everyone was happy! Until…

Two years later, the couple was back before God, and things were not looking so good. The couple had come to the realization almost immediately that although marriages were made in heaven, they didn’t last very long there! And, in spite of their struggles to come to terms with the situation, they had decided there simply was no alternative but to get a divorce.

Black clouds fractured by lightening rolled across the sky, and the ground shook with explosive thunder. God glared down at the tiny couple before him, his face becoming dark and angry, and he roared, “Divorce?! Impossible!!! It took us TEN years just to find a priest in Heaven! Do you have any idea how long it will take to find a LAWYER?!

A lady in Harrisburg, Oregon has a cat who has a special friend that visits every morning.