August 5, 2010
FW: The Economy is So Bad…
The economy is so bad that….
….I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
….I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”
….CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
….Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
….My ATM gave me an IOU!
….A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
….I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.
….If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
….McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
….Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
….Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
….My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
….A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
….Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.
….A picture is now only worth 200 words.
….They renamed Wall Street ” Wal-Mart Street .”
….When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
….The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
….Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!
And, finally…
….I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck…