Forward Ever Forward

We all make mistakes, but these are classics!

From Actual Medical Charts:

- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the
pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

–Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

- The skin was moist and dry.

- Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until
1989 when she got a divorce.

- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane
ran out of gas and crashed.

- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle,
who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

- Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

- Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

- She is numb from her toes down.

- Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

- While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as
a stockbroker instead.

- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

- Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.

- Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his
family in no distress.

- Patient was alert and unresponsive.

- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.