Forward Ever Forward

~If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.~

~Don’t worry about what people think; they don’t do it very often.~

~Going to a church doesn’t make you a Christian any more
than standing in a garage makes you a car.~

~It isn’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.~

~Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.~

~ My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.~

~ Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.~

~It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.~

~ For every action, there is an equal & opposite government program.~

~If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.~

~Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.~

~ A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.~

~Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. (Just remember how
lucky you were to get a free trip around the sun.)~

~ Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.~

~No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.~

~ A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.~

~ Middle age is when broadness of the mind &
narrowness of the waist change places.~

~Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.~

~Junk is something you’ve kept for years &
throw away three weeks before you need it.~

~ There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.~

~ Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you
to recognize a mistake when you make it again.~

~By the time you can make the ends meet, they move the ends.~

~ Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.~

~Someone who thinks logically provides
a nice contrast to the real world.~

~If you must choose between two evils,
chose the one that you’ve never tried before.~

Thoughts are from Grandma Faith’s website

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