August 11, 2009
FW: Just Some Thoughts
~If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.~
~Don’t worry about what people think; they don’t do it very often.~
~Going to a church doesn’t make you a Christian any more
than standing in a garage makes you a car.~
~It isn’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.~
~Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.~
~ My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.~
~ Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.~
~It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.~
~ For every action, there is an equal & opposite government program.~
~If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.~
~Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.~
~ A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.~
~Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. (Just remember how
lucky you were to get a free trip around the sun.)~
~ Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.~
~No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.~
~ A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.~
~ Middle age is when broadness of the mind &
narrowness of the waist change places.~
~Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.~
~Junk is something you’ve kept for years &
throw away three weeks before you need it.~
~ There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.~
~ Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you
to recognize a mistake when you make it again.~
~By the time you can make the ends meet, they move the ends.~
~ Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.~
~Someone who thinks logically provides
a nice contrast to the real world.~
~If you must choose between two evils,
chose the one that you’ve never tried before.~
Thoughts are from Grandma Faith’s website

