October 29, 2011
FW: 100+ Corny Halloween Jokes
- Q. What do ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!
- Q. What is a Mummie’s favorite type of music? A. Wrap!!!!!
- Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out? A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
- Q. What’s a monster’s favorite bean? A. A human bean.
- Q. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A. A sand-witch.
- Q. What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A. You suck.
- Q. What do ghosts say when something is really neat? A.Ghoul
- Q. Why did the ghost go into the bar? A. For the Boos.
- Q. Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A. He was all bite and no bark.
- Q. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A. He didn’t have a haunting license.
- Q. Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party? A. He had no body to dance with.
- Q. Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A. At the casketeria.
- Q. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A. He is mist.
- Q. Where did the goblin throw the football? A. Over the ghoul line.
- Q. Why doesn’t Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat. A. Because of the coffin.
- Q. Why is a ghost such a messy eater? A. Because he is always a goblin.
- Q. What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A. A toasty ghosty.
- Q. Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? Q. He heard it had great circulation.
- Q. What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae? A. Whipped scream.
- Q. What do you give a skeleton for valentine’s day? A. Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.
- Q. What are ghosts’ favorite kind of streets? A. Dead ends
- Q. What is a vampires favorite holiday? A. Fangsgiving
- Q. What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? A. Mas-scare-a.
- Q. Why did the skeleton cross the road? A. To go to the body shop.
- Q. What happens when two vampires meet? A. It was love at first bite!
- Q. Who was the most famous ghost detective? A. Sherlock Moans.
- Q. What do you call two spiders that just got married? A. Newlywebbed
- Q. Who was the most famous witch detective? A. Warlock Holmes
- Q. What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop? A. Scream or sugar!
- Q. Who was the most famous skeleton detective? A. Sherlock Bones.
- Q. Who was the most famous French skeleton? A. Napoleon bone-apart
- Q. Which building does Dracula visit in New York? A. The Vampire State Building.
- Q. Where do most werewolves live? A. In howllywood, California
- Q. Where do most goblins live? A. in North and South Scarolina.
- Q. Where does a ghost refuel his porche? A. At a ghastly station.
- Q. What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? A. Fettucinni Afraid-o
- Q. Why did the skeleton go disco dancing? A. to see the boogy man.
- Q. What do witches use in their hair? A. scare-spray
- Q. What do you call a little monsters parents A. mummy and deady
- Q. What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon. A. sour-puss
- Q. How do you scare a mummy A. with a yummy dummy in a crash test crummy.
- Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with the internet? A. blood-thirsty hacker.
- Q. Why do ghosts shiver and moan? A. It’s drafty under that sheet.
- Q. What instrument do skeleton play? A: Trom-BONE.
- Q. What do ghosts eat for breakfast? A. Boo-Berries.
- Q: Why did’t the skeleton cross the road? A: He had no guts.
- Q. Why do vampires scare people? A. They are bored to death!
- Q. How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? A. Every night he turns into a bat.
- Q. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? A. It’s a pain in the neck.
- Q. What songs does Dracula hate? A. “You Are My Sunshine.”
- Q. How does a girl vampire flirt? A. She bats her eyes.
- Q. What is a vampires least favorite food? A. Steak
- Q. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A. A grave problem.
- Q. Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula? A. He has a bat temper.
- Q. Why did Dracula go to the dentist? A. He had a fang-ache.
- Q. Why are vampires like false teeth? A. They all come out at night.
- Q. Who does Dracula get letters from? A. His fang club.
- Q. What kind of gum do ghosts chew? A. Boo Boo Gum.
- Q. Why did Dracula take cold medicine? A. To stop his coffin.
- Q. How do you keep a monster from biting his nails? A. Give him screws.
- Q. What can’t you give the headless horseman? A. A headache.
- Q. Why did the headless horseman go into business? A. He wanted to get ahead in life.
- Q. What is a ghosts favorite sale? A. A white sale.
- Q. What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party? A. A boo-tie.
- Q. What’s a ghosts favorite desert? A. Boo-berry pie.
- Q. What type of dog does every vampire have? A. Bloodhound!
- Q. What’s a monsters favorite desert? A. I-Scream!!
- Q. Why do girl ghosts go on diets? A. So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
- Q. When does a ghost have breakfast? A. In the moaning.
- Q. What do ghosts drink at breakfast? A. Coffee with scream and sugar.
- Q. Where does a ghost go on vacation? A. Mali-boo.
- Q. Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
- Q. Where did the ghost get it’s hair done? A: At the boo-ty shop.
- Q. Riddle: the maker does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it? A. a coffin.
- Q. What do they teach in witching school? A. Spelling.
- Q. What do you call a witch’s garage? A. A broom closet.
- Q. What do you call two witches living together? A. Broommates.
- Q. Why don’t mummies take vacations? A. They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
- Q. Where do ghosts go out? A. Where they can get boooooo-ze.
- Q. What did the mother ghost say to her kids in the car? A. Fasten your sheet belts.
- Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? A. He didn’t have the guts.
- Q. What did the corpse’ mom do when her son was bad? A. Ground him
- Q. Why was the mummy so tense? A. Because he was all wound up.
- Q. Why did the vampire need mouthwash? A. Because he had bat breath.
- Q. Why don’t ghost have bands? A. They get booooooooooed.
- Q. What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes? A. A cereal killer.
- Q. What did the bird say on Halloween? A. Trick or tweet!
- Q. What’s a Vampire’s least favorite song? A. Another one bites the dust!
- Q. What is a Skeleton’s favorite song. A. Bad to the Bone
- Q. Whats a ghost’s favorite type of car? A. A boo-ick
- Q. Where do ghost go for fun? A. To the boo-vies
- Q. What’s a skeletons favorite part of the house? A. the living room
- Q. Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? A. It raises their spirits.
- Q. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A: A necktarine
- Q. What do the skeletons say be for eating? A. Bone appetite
- Q. How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire? A. So long sucker!
- Q. What is a ghost’s favorite band? A. The Boos Brothers
- Q. What did Dracula have for dessert? A. Whine & Ice scream
- Q. What is Dracula’s favorite restaurant? A. Murder King
- Q. What is a Ghost’s favorite food? A. HamBoogers
- Q: What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? A: You are the most booooooooo-tiful!
- Q. Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it? A. People are dying to get in.
- Q. What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking? A. A pumpkin patch!!!
- Q. Where do vampires keep their money? A: The blood bank!!!
- Q. What did Dracula say after reading all these jokes? A. They suck! (or they bite!)