Forward Ever Forward

There is a cute story told about the Governor of Texas, then Mark White.

Governor White and his wife were driving through the open Texas countryside one-day, out for a relaxing drive and talk.

The couple happened to be around the area where Mrs. White grew up, and as they pulled into a gas station to fuel up and check out the car, Mark noticed a little nervousness with his wife. He didn’t say anything, but when the gas station attendant came out to their car, Mark began to notice what was really going on. Both his wife and the attendant looked surprised to see each other, and they acted with that awkwardness that two people have when they’ve been close in the past, but weren’t anymore.

Governor White pretended not to notice this. They finished at the gas station and continued back down the highway. The car fell silent and neither said a word. For a long time they remained silent, and all the while Mrs. White kept looking out the window, staring off out into the distance. Mark was considerate and patient with this silence, and he continued to drive in the silence. But after the silence had gone on for almost an hour, he interrupted, trying to break the silence.

“Honey, I couldn’t help but notice how you and that gas station attendant looked at each other. You were involved with each other at one point, weren’t you,” he asked?

“Well, yea,” She responded, quietly.

“Well, I guess I know how you feel. You were probably thinking about that and needed some space, right,” he continued?

“Yea,” she said again.

“I guess you were probably thinking about how different your two lives had become. I guess you were thinking that if you had married him, then you’d be the wife of a gas station attendant now, instead of my wife. Right,” he said?

“Well, No. Actually I was thinking that he’d be the governor now.”

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They should definitely should do this in New York City!

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Some of these are inside humor for the Mormon crowd, but the rest are quite funny! It will be interesting to see if Mitt’s religion will play that big of a factor if he wins the G.O.P. nominee.

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For balanced humor, check out our political Liberal bumper stickers

ELECTION 2012 IS COMING
A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves!

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Thomas Jefferson was a remarkable man who began his learning very early in life and never stopped. If only all of us could be the type of individual Thomas Jefferson was. May his life be an example for us to be better citizens and people!

• At 5, he began studying under his cousins’ tutor.
• At 9, he studied Latin, Greek and French.
• At 14, he studied classical literature and additional languages.
• At 16, he entered the College of William and Mary.
• At 19, he studied Law for 5 years, studying under George Wythe.
• At 23, he started his own law practice.
• At 25, he was elected to the Virginia House of Burgesses.
• At 31, he wrote the widely circulated “Summary View of the Rights of British America” and retired from his law practice.
• At 32, he was a Delegate to the Second Continental Congress.
• At 33, he wrote the Declaration of Independence.
• At 33, he took three years to revise Virginia’s legal code and wrote a Public Education bill and a statute for Religious Freedom.
• At 36, he was elected the second Governor of Virginia succeeding Patrick Henry.
• At 40, he served in Congress for two years.
• At 41, he was the American minister to France and negotiated commercial treaties with European nations along with Ben Franklin and John Adams.
• At 46, he served as the first Secretary of State under George Washington.
• At 53, he served as Vice President and was elected President of the American Philosophical Society.
• At 55, he drafted the Kentucky Resolutions and became the active head of Republican Party.
• At 57, he was elected the third President of the United States.
• At 60, he obtained the Louisiana Purchase , doubling the nation’s size.
• At 61, he was elected to a second term as President.
• At 65, he retired to Monticello.
• At 80, he helped President Monroe shape the Monroe Doctrine.
• At 81, he almost single-handedly created the University of Virginia and served as its first president.
• At 83, he died, on the 50th anniversary of the Signing of the Declaration of Independence along with John Adams.

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Editor’s Note: FEF has no political affiliation (which can be shown be viewing this post and this post). We post the forwarded emails that are sent to us. If you have an anti-Republican email you would like posted please send it our way!

35. Because all your freedoms and liberties BELONG TO US
34. Because broadband is a human right
33. Because I voted Republican for all those years before I died
32. Because my mom ceased my allowance. Only Obama can stop her madness
31. Because if I don’t, the teacher will press a red button and I’ll explode
30. Because Barbara Boxer has her title, I just can’t stand to see her lose it
29. Because every American city can be like Detroit
28. Because I’m too lazy to do my own stealing.
27. Because I’m too lazy to move to Europe.
26. Because I want to see what Obama is going to do next. He’s more mystifying than Lost!
25. Because I am DYING for the neighbor to redistribute his wife
24. Because my boss only pays me $23 an hour as an illegal maid
23. Because Paul is entitled to Peter’s money
22. Because it’s not fair that people with jobs have more money than I do.
21. Because the Soviet Union would have worked with the right people in charge & we’re going to prove it
20. Because who else is compassionate enough to make sure everyone has a chance at poverty?
19. Because global warming is more important than science
18. Because history is littered with examples of how well socialism has worked
17. Because blaming rich people is so much easier than personal responsibility
16. Because I get my news from the Daily Show
15. Because paying over 40% of your income to the government is okay but making a 3% profit is pure evil
14. Because “at some point I think you’ve made enough money”
13. Because “I don’t want my daughters to be punished with a baby”
12. Because those who create wealth should be punished for their wrongdoing
11. Because I never did like incandescant light bulbs
10. Because I’m not here legally
09. Because everything wrong in my life is someone else’s fault
08. Because I keep blaming Bush for the mess we’re in but can’t explain what he did to get us here
07. Because we must never return to the Bush-Cheney nightmare of debt, war, and 7% unemployment
06. Because somewhere someone is making a profit. Damn it.
05. Because it’s illegal for me to steal your money myself
04. Because “any good mother would put a pillow over a severly suffering child”
03. Because of the two intense-looking fellows with batons standing outside my precinct
02. Because I find it very easy to be compassionate with other people’s money

AND THE BIGGEST REASON I AM GOING TO VOTE BLUE IN THE NEXT ELECTION IS:

01. Because I’ve always wanted to experience the great depression first hand

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An archeological team, digging in Washington DC, has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first politician.

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While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the Senator.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really?, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the Senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, “Now it’s time to visit heaven…”

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell…

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the Senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil smiles at him and says,

“Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted!”

Vote wisely on November 2, 2010

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