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FW: 35 Reasons to Quit Smoking

Paul — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 06:19:45 +0000

20 minutes after quitting smoking: your blood pressure drops to a level close to that before your last cigarette. The temperature of your hands and feet increases, returning to normal.
8 hours after quitting smoking: the carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal.
24 hours after quitting smoking: your chances of having a heart attack decrease.
5-15 years after quitting smoking: your risk of having a stroke is the same as someone who has never smoked.
When you quit smoking, you help prevent your children from smoking.
If all pregnant women quit smoking, about 4,000 new babies would not die every year.
A one pack-a-day smoker, who pays at least $3 per pack, can expect to save more than $1,000 per year. The cost of cigarettes only continues to rise, making the financial rewards of quitting even better.
In the long term, quitting smoking reduces your risk of heart disease, stroke, cancer, and lung diseases like emphysema or bronchitis.
In the short term, quitting smoking reduces respiratory problems, dental problems, nervousness and depression, and a tendency toward health-damaging behavior.
Mothers who quit smoking during pregnancy, then start smoking again once their babies are born, increase their children’s chances of developing asthma and raises the risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
People who quit, no matter what their age, live longer than people who continue to smoke. Quitting smoking reduces your risk for heart disease.
Quitting smoking now is one of the most powerful steps you can take to improve your overall health.
Tobacco use is the leading preventable cause of death in the United States.
Quitting smoking cleanses your body of harmful substances. More than 4,000 individual compounds have been identified in tobacco and tobacco smoke. Among these are about 60 compounds that cause cancer.
Quitting smoking could lower the amount of cholesterol in your blood.
Quitting smoking during pregnancy lowers the risk of birth defects to your unborn child.
Quitting smoking during pregnancy lowers the risk of having a still born baby, a baby born too early or prematurely, or an infant with low birth weight.
Quitting smoking during pregnancy reduces health risks for your unborn child. Smoking during and after pregnancy has been linked to asthma among infants and young children.
Quitting smoking gets rid of your dependence on a very powerful substance. Did you know that nicotine is as addictive as heroin or cocaine?
Quitting smoking helps protect the health of your baby during pregnancy.
Quitting smoking helps protect your baby when you’re breast feeding. Women who smoke and breast feed their babies can expose their infants to harmful chemicals from tobacco.
Women smokers who use birth control pills have a higher risk of heart attack and stroke than nonsmokers who use birth control pills.
Women who smoke generally experience menopause (stopping of menstrual periods) earlier. Quitting smoking may increase your level of self-confidence when doing physical activities.
Quitting smoking protects your heart. Women who smoke are 2 to 6 times more likely to suffer a heart attack, and the risk increases with the number of cigarettes you smoke each day.
Heavy smoking can reduce a mother’s milk supply and can cause nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramps, and diarrhea in her baby.
Quitting smoking reduces wrinkles and yellow spots on your fingers, and gives you a better sense of taste and smell.
Quitting smoking reduces your risk for developing cancer of the cervix.
Quitting smoking reduces your risk for infertility (not being able to get pregnant), pregnancy problems, earlier onset of menopause, and osteoporosis (thinning and weakening of bones).
Quitting smoking substantially decreases the risk of lung, laryngeal, esophageal, oral, pancreatic, bladder, and cervical cancers.
Smokers who quit before age 50 have half the risk of dying in the next 15 years compared to those who continue to smoke.
Tobacco use by pregnant women has been linked with mental retardation, and secondhand smoke worsens the health of children with asthma.
When you quit smoking, you stop hurting those around you. The secondhand smoke from your cigarettes can make your family and friends have more colds and asthma attacks. It can also put them at risk for heart and lung diseases, and even lung cancer.
When you stop smoking you have fresher and better smelling clothes, hair, and breath.
When you stop smoking, you’ll spend less time, energy, and money cleaning your curtains, walls, windows, and mirrors.
When you stop smoking, your pets will be happier. Did you know that secondhand smoke increases the risk of lung cancer in dogs?

FW: All I Need to Know about Life I Learned from a Snowman

Paul — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 23:11:02 +0000

It’s okay if you’re a little bottom heavy.
Hold your ground, even when the heat is on.
Wearing white is always appropriate.
Winter is the best of the four seasons.
It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection.
There’s nothing better than a foul weather friend.
The key to life is to be a jolly, happy soul.
It’s not the size of the carrot, but the placement that counts.
We’re all made up of mostly water.
You know you’ve made it when they write a song about you.
Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize!
Avoid yellow snow.
Don’t get too much sun.
It’s embarrassing when you can’t look down and see your feet.
It’s fun to hang out in your front yard.
Always put your best foot forward.
There’s no stopping you once you’re on a roll.

FW: Memorable Senior Moment

Paul — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 06:00:02 +0000

FW: Senior Halloween

Paul — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 06:00:23 +0000

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say: “Great Boris Karloff Mask,” and you’re not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or…” and can’t remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating…
*
*
*
1. You keep having to go home to pee.

No matter, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway

FW: Survival Day by Day

Paul — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 06:00:58 +0000

It’s a nightly tradition. After evening prayers are said, dishes washed, and my three daughters and one son have drifted off into a quiet slumber, I walk into three-year-old Catherine’s room as she peacefully rests. Like many fathers, I look at my beautiful daughter with a mixture of awe and gratitude, thanking God for such a precious gift. The sight of her chest rising and falling with her breath gives my wife Becky and me the ease to go to sleep ourselves.

Catherine, the youngest of our children, was a home-birth baby. In the first year of her life she seemed remarkably healthy. At fourteen months, Catherine’s health unexpectedly and drastically changed. She was irritable and run down so initially we wondered if it was teething or a virus. Catherine began drinking water and urinating constantly. It got to the point that we had to change her diaper and pajamas at least once during the night. We set up a doctor’s appointment. Throughout the day of the appointment, I carried her around the house. She was hardly moving and could barely raise her head off of my shoulder.

I stayed home with the other three children while my wife took her to the doctor’s office. Upon arriving in the doctor’s office, the nurses took one look at her and immediately moved her to the front of the line. As my wife describing the symptoms, the nurse took one of her used diapers and ran a glucose test on the urine. “You need to take her to the hospital immediately,” she told Becky, “We think she has the onset of diabetes.”

My wife called me from the doctor’s office to tell me what had just transpired. As my wife described what they had told her, tears welled up in my eyes. I had worked in a camp for children with diabetes a few years earlier. I was familiar with the condition and knew what it meant for a fifteen-month-old baby to have it. My mind swirled realizing how this would change everything as I quickly arranged for a neighbor to watch the other kids so I could meet Becky at the hospital.

We walked into the emergency room together with Catherine. Once again, Catherine was moved to the front of the line. After drawing her blood and starting an IV they pointed out that she was having small seizures from her extremely high blood sugar. She spent the next two days in the intensive care unit while Becky and I took turns watching over her twenty-four hours a day. I called everyone I knew asking them to please pray for our little girl. Catherine was put on every prayer chain we could think to contact.

We watched anxiously as her small face began to improve and the little girl we loved so much began to return. On her third day in the hospital, one of the nurses brought in a little red wagon filled with stuffed animals and toys. We loaded her in and wheeled a much healthier looking Catherine into a room in the pediatric wing.

In the four days Catherine spent there, Becky and I became experts on the disease. We learned how to monitor her blood sugar levels. Our daughter would depend dearly on us using our knowledge with precision.

Diabetes is an extremely intense disease to deal with in a small child, because you cannot predict when and how much they are going to eat. It requires constant vigilance of testing blood sugar to make sure it does not get too high or too low. There is no room for error. Too high and she could face long term damage such as kidney failure, amputations, loss of feeling, or loss of eyesight. Too low, and she could pass out, have a seizure or even go into a coma and die.

Medical conditions and dealing with them are part of our family’s life now. Since the diagnosis of her condition, all of my other three children have been diagnosed with some sort of autoimmune diseases. As fathers, we all have fears for our children, both for the present and the future. For my daughter Catherine, a very tangible fear is present on a daily basis. If I don’t make sure she has eaten her food after an injection, then she could end up sick at the very least or even have a reaction that poses a significant threat to her life.

For her, the world is a very dangerous place. Things we take for granted-like sneaking an extra few cookies or skipping lunch, can seriously harm her. It is humbling to realize how little control we sometimes have over small things that carry great importance. My wife works in the nutritional supplement industry and there are some in her industry who think that taking the right supplements can cure almost anything. With diabetes there is nothing you can do to stop it. It leaves us with only one perspective; God is in control here. In the end, it is the same for all of us. We can do our best in whatever situation we are placed, but in the end, our life is beyond our control so we best rest in the Lord.

So we pray for her condition often and we pray that some day a cure will be found. And in the meantime, we trust that God does not do things without a reason. He gave us our wonderful daughter, and we know that despite her condition she is perfect in his eyes.

- Chris Cash

FW: Senior Texting Codes

Paul — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 13:56:39 +0000

I thought you needed help with texting your friends. After all, the kids have all their little codes, like BFF, LOL, etc. So here are the codes for seniors:

ATD – At the Doctor’s
BFF – Best Friend’s Funeral
BTW – Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM – Covered by Medicare
CUATSC – See You at the Senior Center
DWI – Driving While Incontinent
FWBB – Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW – Forgot Where I Was
FYI – Found Your Insulin
GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA – Got Heartburn Again
HGBM – Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO – Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL – Living on Lipitor
LWO – Lawrence Welk’s On
OMMR – On My Massage Recliner
OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas
ROFL…CGU – Rolling on the Floor Laughing…Can’t get Up!
TTYL – Talk to You Louder
WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA – Wet the Furniture Again
WTP – Where’s the Prunes
WWNO – Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI – Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!

FW: Yes, I’m A Senior Citizen!

Paul — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 13:18:37 +0000

Have a good laugh…it’s good for the soul!

THIS IS US!

YES, I’M A SENIOR CITIZEN!

I’m the life of the party—even if it lasts until 8 p.m.

I’m very good at opening child proof caps—with a hammer.

I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.

I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.

I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg.

I’m beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.

Yes, I’m a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!

Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn’t send it back to them, but I would send it to many more too!

Spread the laughter

Share the cheer

Let’s be happy

While we’re here.

Go Green – Recycle CONGRESS!!

FW: New Government Policy

Paul — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 18:46:18 +0000

BREAKING NEWS!!!

To save the economy, on APRIL 20th,
the government will start deporting all of the old people
in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.

I started crying when I thought of you.
RUN, YOU OLD BUZZARD, RUN!!!

Well, what can I say?
Someone sent it to me
and I’m NOT going alone!

FW: To All My Really Old Friends, The Very Best Kind!!!!!

Paul — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 06:01:57 +0000

‘Someone asked the other day, ‘What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?’

‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,’ I informed him. ‘All the food was slow.’

‘C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’

‘It was a place called ‘at home,” I explained.
‘Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it…

Some parents NEVER owned their own house…never wore Levis…never set foot on a golf course…never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.

In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck . Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow) .

We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 19. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

I was 21 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called ‘pizza pie.’ When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home, but milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers — my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6 am every morning. On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?

FW: Believe in Yourself

Paul — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 06:01:36 +0000

Believe in Yourself

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