Forward Ever Forward » Why??

FW: Infant With Genuine Hair Weave

Paul — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 06:00:07 +0000

Who knew they made lacefronts wigs for babies? A reader sent these pics of her precious infant daughter wearing her first lacefront wig.

She writes: “It’s never too early for my baby to start looking glamorous like Beyonce!”

Mom said she had the wig custom made human hair to match her own lacefront. “I wouldn’t be caught dead without my lacefront and my baby won’t either!” she wrote.

FW: Crazy People

Paul — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 06:00:50 +0000

FW: Very Different People

Paul — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 12:38:44 +0000

When it comes to people there are some very, very unique individuals in this world!!!

FW: Extreme Piercing

Paul — Thu, 19 May 2011 06:00:09 +0000

FW: PEOPLE ARE AMAZING

Paul — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 06:00:47 +0000

Click here to view the embedded video.

FW: Worst Captcha EVER!!!

Paul — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 20:28:45 +0000

FW: Deer Gone Dog

Paul — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 02:33:51 +0000

Dillie the deer acts just like a house-trained dog as she walks up the stairs & lounges around on her owner’s bed. Living with vet Melanie Butera, in Canal Fulton, Ohio, four-year-old Dillie is so spoiled she is served linguine in bed. She has even managed to work out where a deer that lives in a house should go to do her business.

House trained: Dillie the deer polishes off a plate of linguine in her owners' master bedroom

Taking full advantage of Melanie and her husband Steve’s generous hospitality, Dillie even gets to enjoy their swimming pool and five acres of property on which to run around on.

Living with the Buteras since she was three days old, Dillie now knows how to turn lights on and off and how to take ice from the dispenser in the fridge.

“We took a call from a local farmer at 3 am one wintry night,” said Melanie, 48. “Dillie’s mother was not taking to her and he asked if we wanted to try to nurse her back to health. We put her on an IV drip because she weighed four pounds and got her back up and running after around two weeks. We then realized that she couldn’t go back to the farm and live with the other deer and she couldn’t live with our horses because they scared her too much.”

Deer's best friend: Dillie plays around with Lady, the dog of the house

Leaving her in the capable hands of her eight-year-old poodle Lady, Melanie decided that Dillie was going to become the Butera household’s latest pet.

“She developed cataracts and this meant that she had to be cared for in a sensitive manner,” explained Melanie. “She would hang around Lady and she very quickly learned to act like a dog. This became apparent to us when we came home one day and couldn’t find her downstairs. We walked upstairs and found her standing on our bed with Lady. She had obviously learned a few tricks from the old dog.”

Family: Dr Melanie Butera and her husband Steve Heathman share their bed in their home in Canal Fulton, Ohio, with Dillie and Lady

Dillie slept for the first few years at the Buteras’ home in their bed with Lady. “I suppose it was quite a cute get together,” said Melanie. “Me, my husband, Dillie and Lady all sharing the same bed. My husband Steve always liked the way that Dillie would warm his feet up when she laid on them.”

Fully house-trained, Dillie now wears a GPS collar due to a frightening runaway incident last year. “She went missing because a gate was left open on our property when she was out roaming,” said Melanie. “So we got this collar fitted to her to keep our minds at ease.”

Enjoying a wide variety of meals, Dillie’s favorite is ice cream and coffee, topped with frozen ice shavings.

Stairway to heaven: Dillie has the run of the house, and has even learned how to use the toilet

FW: Weapon of Mass Stupidity

Paul — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 06:00:31 +0000

Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie and thought better of it. If I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, “no possible way!” What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best.

I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, “and your species rules the earth?” However, I reasoned that a one second burst from such a tiny little thing couldn’t really hurt all that bad. So, I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and…HOLY MOTHER OF MONKEYS….WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION….WHAT THE HELL!!!

I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to “mug” yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair.

P.S. My wife, can’t stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!

FW: Real Men Use Duct Tape

Paul — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 06:00:44 +0000

FW: Monster Oreo Goodness

Paul — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 06:00:44 +0000

Some people have just too much time on their hands!

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