July 17, 2011
FW: The Ultimate Wedding Proposal!
My wife would have really killed me had I proposed this way!!
Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category.
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July 14, 2011
FW: A New “Muggle” Ending for Harry Potter
How the Harry Potter series would have ended if they relied less on magic and more the “muggle” methods of war.
http://forwardeverforward.com/vids/the-muggle-ending.flvRelated Posts:
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July 12, 2011
FW: The Funny-o-Meter
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July 9, 2011
FW: Amazing Simple Home Remedies
THESE REALLY WORK!! I checked this out on Snopes and it’s for real!
AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES – BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES – NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY’RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
SOME ADDITIONAL ADVICE: NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAKE A LAXATIVE AND SLEEPING PILLS ON THE SAME NIGHT
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July 5, 2011
FW: James Cameron’s Pocahontas
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June 22, 2011
FW: The Real Street Fighter (Interactive Video)
To actually use this youtube video as a video game you have to watch where it is hosted on YouTube. However, below are the codes to play the game (along with a cheat code Ü).
Commands
press 2 to punch left
press 3 to punch right
press 4 to slap left
press 5 to slap right
press 6 to kick
press 7 to poke eyes
press 8 to throw against the wall
press 9 for cheat code to win
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June 15, 2011
FW: About Your Dead Parrot Señor Wilson
THE PHONE RINGS:
“Hello Señor Wilson, I am the caretaker at your country house in Mexico.”
“Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?”
“Um, I am just calling to advise you that your parrot, he is dead.”
“My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?”
“Si, Señor, that’s the one.”
“Damn! That’s a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?”
“From eating the rotten meat, Señor Wilson.”
“Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?”
“Nobody, Señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.”
“Dead horse? What dead horse?”
“The thoroughbred, Señor Wilson.”
“My prize thoroughbred is dead?”
“Yes, Señor Wilson, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.”
“Are you insane? What water cart?”
“The one we used to put out the fire, Señor.”
“Good Heavens! What fire are you talking about, man?”
“The one at your house, Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.”
“What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!”
“Yes, Señor Wilson.”
“There’s electricity at the house, what was the candle for?”
“For the funeral, Señor Wilson.”
“WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!”
“Your wife’s, Señor Wilson. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G 15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft.”
SILENCE……….. LONG SILENCE………VERY LONG SILENCE.
“Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you’re in deep trouble!”
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June 6, 2011
FW: Connect One
Now there is fun for the severally “game board” challenged!
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June 2, 2011
FW: Amish Elevator
An Amish father and his oldest son were visiting a mall one day.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The son asked, “What is this Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.”
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an overweight old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son “Go get your Mother.”
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June 1, 2011
FW: Inspirational Speech From a 6 Year Old
You gotta love this kid’s passion. If your kids have fear of riding a bike this boy should inspire them to do better.
