Forward Ever Forward » Christmas

FW: Christmas Eve at Rock-Away Rest

Paul — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 06:00:54 +0000

Twas the night before Christmas at Rock-Away Rest,
and all of us seniors were looking our best.
Our glasses, how sparkly, our wrinkles, how merry;
Our punchbowl held prune juice plus three drops of sherry.

A bedsock was taped to each walker, in hope
That Santa would bring us soft candy and soap.
We surely were lucky to be there with friends,
Secure in this residence and in our Depends.

Our grandkids had sent us some Christmasy crafts,
Like angels in snowsuits and penguins on rafts.
The dental assistant had borrowed our teeth,
And from them she’d crafted a holiday wreath.

The bed pans, so shiny, all stood in a row,
Reflecting our candle’s magnificent glow.
Our supper so festive — the joy wouldn’t stop –
Was creamy warm oatmeal with sprinkles on top.

Our salad was Jell-O, so jiggly and great,
Then puree of fruitcake was spooned on each plate.
The social director then had us play games,
Like “Where Are You Living?” and “What Are Your Names?”

Old Grandfather Looper was feeling his oats,
Proclaiming that reindeer were nothing but goats.
Our resident wand’rer was tied to her chair,
In hopes that at bedtime she still would be there.

Security lights on the new fallen snow
Made outdoors seem noon to the old folks below.
Then out on the porch there arose quite a clatter
(But we are so deaf that it just didn’t matter).

A strange little fellow flew in through the door,
Then tripped on the sill and fell flat on the floor.
Twas just our director, all togged out in red.
He jiggled and chuckled and patted each head.

We knew from the way that he strutted and jived
Our social- security checks had arrived.
We sang — how we sang — in our monotone croak,
Till the clock tinkled out its soft eight-p.m. stroke.

And soon we were snuggling deep in our beds.
While nurses distributed nocturnal meds.
And so ends our Christmas at Rock-Away Rest.
fore long you’ll be with us, We wish you the best!

FW: Do You Have Room?

Paul — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 06:00:47 +0000

A beautiful Christmas song by Shawna Edwards.

Click here to view the embedded video.

FW: Catching Christmas

Paul — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 06:00:17 +0000

Mother has always been careful
To keep me from catching a sickness.
But one thing she hopes I come down with
Is a condition called “spirit of Christmas.”

Catching the spirit of Christmas
Is nothing like catching a cold.
It makes you feel warm
And new and transformed
And leaves your heart feeling like gold.

Catching the spirit of Christmas
Is the catchingest of all that goes ’round
During this season
When there’s no greater reason
To lift those whose heads hang down.

Catching the spirit of Christmas
Won’t leave you sick in your bed.
It’ll give you the zest
To start living your best
And love others as Jesus has said.

By Tina Dean

FW: Not How You Want Santa to Deliver your Presents!

Paul — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 21:33:06 +0000

Have you ever wondered how Santa delivers his presents without getting soot on him from the chimney? Well, I think this fedex employee might shed some light on that question. According to the YouTube video the package is a Samsung monitor. Not how you want your stuff treated for certain!

Click here to view the embedded video.

FW: Christmas Trees Around the World

Paul — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:44:55 +0000

The Capitol Christmas tree in Washington, D.C., is decorated with 3,000 ornaments that are the handiwork of U.S. schoolchildren. Encircling evergreens in the “Pathway of Peace” represent the 50 U.S. states.

The Christmas tree that greets revelers at the Puerta del Sol is dressed for a party. Madrid’s two-week celebration makes millionaires along with merrymakers. On Dec. 22, a lucky citizen will win El Gordo (the fat one), the world’s biggest lottery.

Drink a glass of gluhwein from the holiday market at the Romer, Frankfurt’s city hall since 1405 and enjoy a taste of Christmas past.

The largest Christmas tree in Europe (more than 230 feet tall) can be found in Lisbon, Portugal. Thousands of lights adorn the tree, adding to the special enchantment of the city during the holiday season.

Venice’s Murano Island renowned throughout the world for its quality glasswork is home to the tallest glass tree in the world. Sculpted by master glass blower Simone Cenedese, the artistic Christmas tree is a modern reflection of the holiday season.

A token of gratitude for Britain’s aid during World War II, the Christmas tree in London’s Trafalgar Square has been the annual gift of the people of Norway since 1947.

The world’s largest Christmas tree display rises up the slopes of Monte Ingino outside of Gubbio, in Italy’s Umbria region. Composed of about 500 lights connected by 40,000 feet of wire, the “tree” is a modern marvel for an ancient city

Moscow celebrates Christmas according to the Russian Orthodox calendar on Jan. 7. For weeks beforehand, the city is alive with festivities in anticipation of Father Frost’s arrival on his magical troika with the Snow Maiden. He and his helper deliver gifts under the New Year tree, or yolka, which is traditionally a fir.

n Paris, even the Christmas trees are chic. With its monumental, baroque dome, plus 10 stories of lights and high fashion, it’s no surprise this show-stopping department store draws more visitors than the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower.

Illuminating the Gothic facades of Prague’s Old Town Square, and casting its glow over the manger display of the famous Christmas market, is a grand tree cut in the Sumava mountains in the southern Czech Republic.

A Christmas tree befitting Tokyo’s nighttime neon display is projected onto the exterior of the Grand Prince Hotel Akasaka.

In addition to the Vatican’s heavenly evergreen, St. Peter’s Square in Rome hosts a larger-than-life nativity scene in front of the obelisk.

Even in its humblest attire, aglow beside a tiny chapel in Germany’s Karwendel mountains, a Christmas tree is a wondrous sight.

Against a backdrop of tall, shadowy firs, a rainbow trio of Christmas trees lights up the night (location unknown).

FW: A Politically Correct Christmas Poem

Paul — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 06:33:05 +0000

‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves.”
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called “Unenlightened.”

And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she’d enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he’d never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets, they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football,someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you’ve got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere, even you.
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.

FW: Silent Night with a Twist

Paul — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 05:43:54 +0000

Lindsey Stirling does an amazing rendition of Silent Night, not to mention the cinematography is outstanding!

Click here to view the embedded video.

FW: Funny Christmas Humor

Paul — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 06:10:03 +0000

FW: A Jewish Christmas

Paul — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 20:46:19 +0000

The teacher, Ms. Jones, asked her student Patrick Murphy, “What do you do at Christmas time?”

Patrick eagerly addressed the class, “Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight mass and we sing hymns; then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys.”

“Very nice Patrick,” she said.

“Now Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?”

“Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to church with Mom and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents.”

Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, “Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?”

Isaac said, “Well, it’s the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce; then we drive to Dad’s toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves, and then begin to sing, ‘What A Friend We Have in Jesus.’ Then we all go to the Bahamas.”

FW: The Meanest Christmas Prank

Paul — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 07:23:39 +0000

I don’t think too many people would find this very funny!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Forward Ever Forward » Christmas

FW: Christmas Eve at Rock-Away Rest

Related Posts:

FW: Do You Have Room?

Related Posts:

FW: Catching Christmas

Related Posts:

FW: Not How You Want Santa to Deliver your Presents!

Related Posts:

FW: Christmas Trees Around the World

Related Posts:

FW: A Politically Correct Christmas Poem

Related Posts:

FW: Silent Night with a Twist

Related Posts:

FW: Funny Christmas Humor

Related Posts:

FW: A Jewish Christmas

Related Posts:

FW: The Meanest Christmas Prank

Related Posts: