March 14, 2007
Archive for March 2007
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March 14, 2007
FW: A good reason to stay fit
Since there are so many dinosaurs chasing me and all…
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March 14, 2007
Cell Phone Karma
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March 14, 2007
Optical Illusion
If you stare at the image long enough,
you should see a giraffe.
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March 14, 2007
Blasphemy
A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a
chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
“What troubles you, Sister?” asks the Mother Superior. “I thought
this was the day you spent with your family.”
“It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my
brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was
quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.”
“I seem to recall that,” the Mother Superior agreed. “So I take it
your day of recreation was not relaxing?”
“Far from it,” snorted the Sister. “In fact, I even took the Lord’s
name in vain today!”
“Goodness, Sister!” gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. “You
must tell me all about it!”
“Well, we were on the fifth tee…and this hole is a monster, Mother
~ 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green and
I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.
And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I
wanted…and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee!”
“Oh my!” commiserated the Mother. “How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t
make you blaspheme, Sister!”
“No, that wasn’t it,” admitted Sister. “While I was still trying to
fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my
ball and runs off down the fairway!”
“Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!” sympathized Mother.
“But I didn’t, Mother Superior!” sobbed the Sister. “And I was so
proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from
God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off,
with my ball still clutched in his paws!”
“So that’s when you cursed,” said the Mother with a knowing smile.
“Nope, that wasn’t it either,” cried the Sister, anguished, “because
as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started
struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the
ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from
the cup!”
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her
chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said…
“You missed the freaking (sorry I had to clean this word up) putt, didn’t you?”
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March 14, 2007
Driving too fast?
I GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING THE OTHER DAY.
I THOUGHT I COULD TALK MY WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL
THE COP LOOKED AT MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT.
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March 8, 2007
Cow Eats Live Chickens
KOLKATA, India (Reuters) — When dozens of chickens went missing from a remote West Bengal village, everyone blamed the neighborhood dogs.
But Ajit Ghosh, the owner of the missing chickens, eventually solved the puzzle when he caught his cow — a sacred animal for the Hindu family — gobbling up several of them at night.
“We were shocked to see our calf eating chickens alive,” Ghosh told Reuters by phone from Chandpur village, about 240 kilometers (150 miles) northwest of Kolkata.
The family decided to stand guard at night on Monday at the cow shed which also served as a hen coop, after 48 chickens went missing in a month.
“Instead of the dogs, we watched in horror as the calf, whom we had fondly named Lal, sneak to the coop and grab the little ones with the precision of a jungle cat,” Gour Ghosh, his brother, said.
Local television pictures showed the cow grabbing and eating a chicken in seconds and a vet confirmed the case.
“We think lack of vital minerals in the body is causing this behavior. We have taken a look and have asked doctors to look into the case immediately,” Mihir Satpathy, a district veterinary officer, said by phone.
“This strange behavior is possible in some exceptional cases,” Satpathy said.
Hundreds of villagers flocked to Chandpur on Wednesday to catch a glimpse of Lal, enjoying his bundle of green grass for a change.
“The local vets said the cow was probably suffering from a disease but others said Lal was a tiger in his previous birth,” Ajit added.
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March 7, 2007
FW: Pakistani man sells wife’s kidney to buy tractor
KARACHI (Reuters) – Pakistani police have arrested two men after a village woman complained that her husband and relatives had sold one of her kidneys in order to buy a tractor, police said on Tuesday.
Although her kidney had been removed 18 months earlier, the woman, named Safia, only learnt it was missing after seeking treatment for a urinary tract problem in January.
“She has said that she was three months pregnant when her husband, Shakeel Ahmed beat her and then took her to the hospital for treatment,” said Mohammad Akram, duty officer at Noushera Jadeed police station in Punjab province.
“But at the hospital her husband, in connivance with three other people, sold her kidney to buy the tractor,” he said.
Unlike many other parts of the world, including neighbouring India, there is no law in Pakistan banning the trade in organs.
Poverty-ridden Pakistanis living in rural areas sell their kidneys to pay off debts or raise money for their families.
Sick but wealthy Pakistanis, and foreigners from the Gulf, Britain and Canada flock to private hospitals in Pakistan for kidney transplants, made possible by these donors.
Two of the woman’s relatives had been arrested in a village west of Bahawalpur, but investigating officer Mohammad Farrukh said the husband had obtained bail.
Police had yet to establish how much the man raised from the sale of the kidney, Farrukh said
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March 7, 2007
FW: Learn to Park
